Seven quick things you can do to make today better

I get tired. I get cranky. Sometimes it’s all I can do to paste a smile on before my next client walks in the door. I know I’m not alone in this.I’m also not alone in wanting to make today a little better, to make myself feel a little better. About eight years ago my focus shifted dramatically. I stopped focusing on trying to do more, trying to fit more into my day. And I started focusing on something smaller, more attainable – finding the goodness in right now. Narrowing my attention allowed me to let go of all the things I can’t control and really concentrate on what I can control: this moment.Did you just take a deep breath when you read that? I took one when I wrote it.It’s not always easy, with one child heading off to college and another with ongoing health problems. But over the years I’ve come across a lot of little tricks that help me do just that when I feel like the whole world is on my last nerve, and I’m struggling to find room for my soul to breathe.If you already do some of these, I want to hear your experiences! If some are new to you, try them out and tell me what you think. If you have one I haven’t mentioned, honey, help a sister out. We could all use all the help we can get being more present and more joyful.So here goes:

1. Stop thinking.

Sometimes I have to find a way to calm my mind. And to do that I use meditation. This is the single most important thing we can do to help a distracted mind, a sluggish body, and a heavy heart. If you need reasons, here’s 20 of them from Psychology Today – all backed by scientific research. From decreasing anxiety, stress, and depression to boosting your social bonds and self-control, to decreasing inflammation on the cellular level, everything points to the fact that meditation helps us all.Don’t know how to meditate? Here’s a short video from mindful.org that shows beginners how to start in just six minutes. Or, you can take a course from TM (my favorite) and jump in with both feet. Either way, the important thing is to get started - even if it’s just closing your eyes in your car for two minutes to focus on your breathing.

2. Stretch.

A couple of times a day I have to get up from my desk, put my arms in the air, and take a BIG stretch. Instant feel-better. If you’re reading this because you’re feeling down, get up and do this right now. And when you’re done stretching, think about taking a yoga class. Our bodies need this.And the Mayo Clinic says our bodies will reward us for it with less stress, lower anxiety, and improved balance, flexibility, strength, and range of motion. Just the perfect antidote for a stressful day in the life of a busy mom and interior designer.

3. Breathe.

Sometimes I find my mind racing. I’m thinking about mistakes I made in the past or worrying about an upcoming meeting. I’m not in the here and now.So when I catch my mind going off like this, I employ a little trick to bring myself back to where I am: I focus on my breath. This is part of the practice of mindfulness, the coming back to the present when you feel your thoughts racing and your circumstances spiraling out of control.Dr. Andrew Weil says “By simply focusing your attention on your breathing, and without doing anything to change it, you can move in the direction of relaxation.” Focusing on the breath is a way for us to be here now.

4. Give yourself a break.

Many of us are convinced that we are too easy on ourselves. We tell ourselves we need to be more disciplined, less lazy, more empathetic, more this, less that. Stop judging yourself. Seriously.In her book The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal, Ph. D. shows what happens in our brain when we give ourselves a hard time. When we judge ourselves harshly, that only makes us more likely to make the same error again.So judging yourself isn’t helping. It’s actually hurting. Give yourself a break and accept that you’re doing the best that you can. Because you are. And you’re not allowed to judge yourself for how much you’ve been judging yourself.

5. Be aware of your own thoughts.

I have seen in my own life that negative thoughts and emotions – fear, anger, anxiety, guilt, uneasiness, all of it – can each take a perfectly beautiful day and ruin it completely. Why let them?I wouldn’t let someone come into my office and tell me that I’m overweight, look ten years older than my age, and am a terrible mother. So when thoughts of a similar ilk start to creep in our minds (and it happens to all of us, no matter how healthy, vibrant, and awesome we may be), if we are aware of them, we can know that these thoughts are not true, and take steps to counteract them.WebMD has a great short article with some proven methods of combatting the negative self-talk. Awareness is the first step. And don’t worry if your voices are loud. SO ARE MINE.

6. Get up and take a short walk.

Changing our scenery for a few moments can sometimes have the magical effect of changing our perspective. Also, getting up and taking a 5-minute walk serves to get the heart pumping just a little more, putting more blood through your veins and more oxygen through your brain.I know it sounds trite. Just try it – you’ll see.

7. Hug someone who loves you.

Either in person, or metaphorically over the phone. In person is better. But maybe not that creepy guy who hangs out by the dumpster. Hugs cause our brains to release oxytocin and dopamine, and hugs are just a nice thing to do. Unless you’re that creepy guy by the dumpster.

8. Bonus Tip: Practice sixty seconds of gratitude.

If you know me, you know I’m all about gratitude. Grab a pen and paper (typing will work, but we're more engaged when physically writing), set a timer on your phone for one minute, and write out as many things as you can that you are grateful for.Here’s a quick list I’m making right now to help get you started:

• I’m in good health.
• My daughter is doing better with her seizure medication.
• My two dogs are loving and healthy and cared for.
• My husband is sweet, attentive, and a helpful addition to our team.
• My firm is busy, doing great work, and profitable.

But here's what's usually in my head:

• I’m not at the level of fitness I want.
• Getting my daughter’s seizures under control has meant too many long nights in a hospital two hours away.
• My dogs can be annoyingly excitable.
• My husband forgot to bring our lunch to the office.
• My firm is so busy that I feel like I can barely catch my breath sometimes.

But that’s where the magic of this exercise lies. Sometimes a little perspective shift is in order. Finding the positive aspect of each of these things forces my mind to recognize how truly blessed I am. And in each of these things, I am ABUNDANTLY blessed. And so are you. Make your own list and see for yourself.

9. 2nd Bonus Tip (and the most powerful): Express your intent to feel better.

This one may surprise you. But the most surprising things happen when you say to yourself out loud, or write by hand on paper the words “I want to feel better.” Say it a few times, and see what comes to your mind. Keep saying it. Maybe one of the suggestions above will pop into your mind. Maybe some other activity or change that seems as if it were created just for you in exactly your situation.

Share the wisdom, share the love.

Again, if you already do some of these, I want to hear your experiences in the comments. If one of these is new to you, let me know what you think. And if you have a favorite technique I haven’t mentioned, share it with everyone in the comments, or share with me on Facebook or Twitter. I’d LOVE to hear.Abundantly yours,Lisa