The alchemy of vulnerability

Magic happens when we lower our defenses and approach the world unguarded and vulnerable.  I took that risk at a talk I gave to designers across the country a few weekends ago.I stood in front of an audience of my peers to talk about the experience of what it means to live my brand. I opened my speech with something I saw on a "Brady Bunch" episode years ago – that I should imagine the audience naked in order to feel less nervous standing up on stage. I told them how, ironically enough, I dreamed a few nights before that I was giving my speech and somehow my dress was missing. I joked with these designers from all over the country that I was much relieved to be standing before them and see that EVERYONE was fully clothed.But the truth is that in the course of my talk, many of us had a moment where we were emotionally naked. Vulnerable. I was the speaker, so it was my turn first - and to me living my "brand" really means living my truth. So I was there to speak my truth out loud to all of these people that I respected and yet barely knew. It was scary.I knew that I was opening myself up to potential judgement, but I went ahead and spoke candidly about the events of my life and how my response to them has helped shape who I am as a designer, as a mother, a wife, and as a human being.And some amazing things happened.I saw the alchemy that happens when we are open and vulnerable with each other. Rather than inviting judgement, my being open gave my peers in the audience the permission they needed to be open and vulnerable too.So often we want the world to think that we have it all figured out. As a designer it's part of my job to look collected, together, and in control. In a room full of these amazing women and men, you can imagine the pressure to look like I have it all together. It's all too tempting for us to put up a false front of invincibility - which is really to see ourselves as not enough.But somehow our openness, honesty, and willingness to drop our pretense and defenses lets everyone in the room lay down their defenses as well, and that’s when genuine trust flowers into being.Being vulnerable opens the door to the truth within us, I've found. The ridiculous fears that plagued me before this talk - that people would think I am incompetent, weird, or somehow defective - they are like mushrooms. They grow best in the dark. When we drop the walls between our own souls and the world that is longing to truly see us, we are letting in the light that shows these fears for the falsehoods that they are.And this opens the door to collaboration. I believe most of us are generous at heart. It's an intrinsic part of who we are. When we see someone in need our first instinct is to help. Being open and vulnerable means that it's okay to share our experiences honestly and help one another however we can.And this spirit of collaboration opens the door to transformation. We begin to see that we are not imperfect because of our flaws. We are perfect for ourselves and our lives, flaws and all. We can accept these things in ourselves and in each other.When I finished my talk, person after person came up to me. So many thanked me, so many wanted to discuss their truths, their challenges, and their renewed hope of living that truth congruently. There were a lot of tears and a lot of whispered confessions of indecision and anxiety. And many had their arms open wide to hug me. I cannot tell you how amazing that felt. The biggest thing that came out of my vulnerability up on that stage: the truth in the shining strength we see and find in one another.This is why I created this blog - to make a place where we could drop our defenses and be vulnerable with each other. To have a place where I could tell my story and encourage you to tell yours. Where together we could discover the strength we have in each other. Because isn’t that what sanctuary is all about - opening ourselves up to the world and to each other in this sacred, beautiful moment?If you haven’t subscribed, I invite you to join us by entering your name and email below. I would love to hear your story of vulnerability, of strength, and of finding sanctuary in your life.With gratitude,Lisa