Sanctuary and “Should”

We all have that coach in our heads. The one that tells us we need to do laundry. The one that tells us we need to make some headway on this project or that one. The one that tells us to keep on keeping on.

Sometimes the inner coach can be the voice of discipline. And discipline is important—it is what makes adult life possible. Teeth are brushed, kids have nutritious lunches, and work projects are done on time and in excellent form. 

But sometimes my personal discipline is more like a drill sergeant than a coach. It pushes me so hard for so long that something vital drains out of me, something that can’t just be replaced with a good night’s sleep or a lovely evening of relaxing with my husband. Sometimes the soul fatigue goes deeper than the ordinary respites of life can mend.

That inner coach can also be expectations—mine and those placed upon me by others. As a professional woman, a mother, a wife, and a mentor, a lot of expectations are at play in my life.

Even my sanctuary practice, ironically enough, can become part of these expectations. That drill sergeant pipes up when I haven’t meditated in a few days, or when I have been staring out the window for a half-hour with a pen in my hand, but haven’t written a thing in my journal.

But I’m writing here to remind you (and myself) that sometimes sanctuary means letting go. It means ignoring the coach, telling that inner drill sergeant to pipe down. Sometimes it means just going ahead and staring out the window, or maybe closing my eyes and surrendering to the gift of a nap on a rainy afternoon after what what seems like weeks of pushing myself non-stop.

Sometimes sanctuary means taking an unscheduled break, or taking the long way with the pretty trees and being a few minutes late for that meeting. I believe our souls know what we need if we can put all of the expectations aside and listen to that quiet voice within.

So I hope this writing will inspire you to stop, to listen deeply to what your soul is telling you, beyond any expectations you have for yourself, and certainly beyond any that others have placed upon you.

I’m giving myself the day off today. I’m going to allow myself to close my eyes if they want to close. I’m taking the detour to see those pretty trees. All of the things that I should be doing will still be there waiting for me when I come back to them, but today is for me to take at my own pace. I’m going to have a day without “should”. 

Will you join me?

With love and gratitude,

Lisa