Come as You Are Party
When my husband Philip and I first started spending time together, it was a very tender time in my life. I was wrapping up a divorce, experiencing turmoil in my company and struggling with my daughter who has special needs. I was not at my best and I many times I just wanted to hide. I wanted to stay home, under the covers and avoid everyone and everything.
Have you ever felt like that? If you have, read on. I have something fun to share with you.
Philip and I initiated something that helped both of us immediately — we called our together time a Come As You Are Party.
It was exactly what it sounds like — show up, entirely as you are at the time, no expectations. It removed all the pressure to look good or act a certain way. It gave each of us the equivalent of a “get out of jail free” card from the Monopoly game. Nothing mattered other than being together.
And you know what? It was magical.
Even transformative.
Without expectations of ourselves or each other, we could just enjoy the time. Sometimes we would read, sometimes we would walk outside, sometimes we would just talk and laugh and look at the sky. We made no plans, we just allowed ourselves to show up fully to the moment and simply be.
What developed as a result was a deep sense of peace, trust (in each other and in ourselves), and a true soul connection. I honestly think that it formed the foundation for the relationship we enjoy to this day.
Isn’t it ironic that such beauty came from turbulence?
This is sanctuary as a life practice, in action.
What if we all gave ourselves permission to put a boundary around certain periods of time or interactions and announced them to be Come As You Are Parties? Doesn’t that sound delightful?
It isn’t just a gift for ourselves, it’s a gift for the people we are with as well. It allows for us (and everyone we’re with) to be human — messy, imperfect and sometimes wobbly.
It allows for us to be real and authentic. When we are able to be truly authentic with another person, there is a visceral vulnerability that sets the stage for lifelong friendships and connections.
I have a theory that reframing our lives as a Come As You Are Party allows for us to honor ourselves and the people around us that we love. Plus, it’s fun! It invites spontaneity and joy to the table.
It’s Valentine’s Day this coming week. I know that we’re having a Come As You Are Party at our house. Maybe you’d like to try one at yours? I’d love to hear about it if you do!
With love, vulnerability and gratitude,
Lisa