Boundaries and Basics
So I have a question. Is anyone other than me struggling to get back to the hustle and bustle of the oncoming holidays? Last week I had three events, one per night, all in a row. Afterward, I collapsed. How did I used to do this endlessly?
When I look around, it seems like most people are just so glad to be back out and with other people that they aren’t minding the schedule.
I, on the other hand, am looking around and wondering what I can remove from my commitment list. Why am I so tired? Where does this feeling of energy depletion come from?
Sitting down to write this morning, I thought about all of the tools I have around me to help. For example, I have my meditation practice which I am faithful to in the morning, but my afternoon meditations are a thing of the distant past. Why? I don’t exactly know. I suppose I decided I was too busy.
I have evening rituals of essential oil baths, relaxing tea, time specifically to wind down and shift my energy in preparation for sleep that I have gotten away from using at all. Again, why? It doesn’t follow that having an extra glass of wine and staying up late to sneak in one more episode of The Nevers is going to restore my peace of mind and lead to a restful night.
What is going on with me?
I suspect it’s not just me. We are such funny creatures — surrounding ourselves with tools and knowledge and then not using them to help ourselves. Is it that we get lazy? Distracted? A little depressed? Maybe.
Whatever it is, it’s a slippery slope. I start to slide away from my boundaries, my tools, my objective knowledge of what creates harmony and balance in my life and then I land here: wondering how I got so far away from what I know to be true.
Without beating myself up or spending too much time making myself wrong, I find it’s actually not that hard to make small shifts that start bringing me back to center. Sometimes little things are all we can manage anyway. So today, I opted for silence on my morning walk. I communed with my breath. I communed with the birds and the sky and the lake. I experimented with it as a moving meditation. That tiny change had me feeling slightly refreshed and calmer when I got back home. I filled my bird feeders and sat down to write with a cup of coffee.
Yes, that.
What’s next? I am committing to a short afternoon meditation today. I just added it to my calendar. It occurs to me that no one else is going to do this for me. I have to put boundaries around myself, my mind, my spirit, my physical being. I have to use the tools that work and realize that I am allowed to say no, to stay home, to need some extra rest. I’m giving myself permission to be as I am, moving into the holidays. Perfect in all of my imperfections, I suppose.
How are you doing over there? How are you feeing going into these last months as we wind up 2021? Where do you find yourself needing to set boundaries to keep your sanity and peace of mind? I’d love to hear — post in the comments below.
With love and gratitude,
Lisa